On Saturday I went to what is called the GAB dance. I think it stands for gay and bisexual dance. It is held once a month at the Red Carpet. It’s a an opportunity for people in the gay community  to come together and have fun since there’s no gay bars in St Cloud. One has to drive an hour to get to the cities to be in a gay club.

Before me and Nick went to this GAB dance we went to visit Nick’s friend who happens to  have a gay father. The father was hosting a pot luck dinner at his house. So Nick was invited and as he and I are dating now, he asked me along. After hanging out at Nick’s friend’s place we then proceeded to the potluck dinner. We arrived at a beautiful house in one of the suburbs of St Cloud. A house owned by two gay men who are “committed” to each other. It was such an amazing home with all the features from a “straight” couple’s home. They had decorations, vases for flowers, photo frames of their kids, a laundry room, a beautiful bedroom, beautiful mahogany furniture, and Nick’s friend even showed us his old bedroom that was now a guest room. oohh did I mention that he turned out “fine”, even though he was raised by a gay father. The son is straight.

I know that there’s a backlash in the gay community against mimicking “straight” people’s lives. I recognise the pressure for us to assimilate, I recognise the power of homonormativity, but some gay people want  a stable home and want kids and want to settle down. This does not take away their “radicalness”, we are still revolutionary in breaking gender norms and what constitutes “family”. I think that gays who have homes in the suburbs are not necessarily conforming to what “straight” people want them to be but re-enforcing that a house can be headed by two people of the same sex who love each other and who want to make it work. And also that we can also screw up or hold up the sanctity of marriage as good if not better than “straight” people. I can’t wait to play house for real.