“I only date white men” said a friend of mine, who happens to be a Chinese with a little bit of a dark complexion. He says to me “I am only sexually attracted to white men, and I am not racists, I have all kinds of friends but I only find white men sexually attractive.” And then he says to me he does not find black men attractive at all. I happen to be a black man and I feel a little bashed by that.

What my friend here lacks to understand is that he is socialised into thinking that he is attracted to white men. He might truly be attracted, but he fails to question why he might find other races including his own unattractive. Could it be that every gay magazine he buys, every gay porn movie he watches, every gay bar he goes to is all white. Could it be that all his fantasies are over loaded with white images, as it is the only image of gayness given to us by America and the world. The image we see is blond, sometimes dark hair, blue eyes, sometimes hazel, hyper-masculine, middle class etc.

My friend says it’s a preference thing and has nothing to do with race. On the surface it does seem like an “i like banana’s instead of apples” type of thing, but really it’s rooted in how gayness is overloaded with white images. These white images negate “other” people who do not adhere to the standards set forth. And all is concealed by discourses of “choice.”