I recently went to a GLBT meeting of a group of people that are planning a drag show. I want to be part of the show, so I needed to be at the meeting. I came a little early, so I had the chance to see a number of people as they arrived. Some people were shy and some stood outside for a moment before a friend went to go call them in. Some people seemed like they didn’t even know how to greet.

There seems to be this shyness, this “I have been injured” mentality with gay people. The “I think I am bad because I gay syndrome”. There seems to be a lot of gay people who feel sorry for themselves because of …. whatever reason. People act like we are victims (granted we are), but we need to move away from that mentality. We need to move away from ducking down, holding our heads down, “i have been bruised” sickness. We have all be injured, we have all been through tough shit, but we grow and we move out of our cocoons. We empower ourselves in whatever way we can. We look at those before our time, and we look at those walking with us and we get strengthened.

We must stop this victim role we like to play. This shyness about our sexuality makes us seem like we did something wrong. I know it is hard, I acknowledge that it is a struggle, but we need to move away from victim-hood. We need to love our sexuality, embrace it (and that does not mean be a screaming queen, although that is OK too), but be yourself. Stop apologising for being who you are. This apology takes different forms, like never looking people in the eye, never wanting to speak in public, not speaking out against abuse, never going out, feeling like the world owes you, feeling sorry for ones self and so on…… I do it too sometimes, and that’s why I am able to recognise it in other people. It needs to stop!